Heroes July 20, 2011
Posted by craftlass in NASA, people, politics.2 comments
As a musician, you’d probably think my heroes would be the musicians who inspire me. While I give them credit for making me the artist that I am, my musical heroes tend to be more the technical and business people who created the ability for me to be a truly independent artist. The engineers at ProTools and the wizards behind Audacity, for example, especially the latter, since they do it in an open-source way that gives me the ability to record a demo on my laptop wherever I may be without spending a dime. This is important since I’m a classic example of struggling artist, especially since I’m still sort of a newbie at being on this side of the microphone. Then there are the people at Bandcamp, Tunecore, and Reverbnation who create the opportunities for us independents to have many of the marketing advantages of major players in the industry. These people have enabled an outright revolution that is making the world of music a far better place. Despite my lack of love for major labels I also admire the people who do the real work of getting their music out, the assistants and “little people” who go about their duties with passion and vigor without getting any of the credit or even a big enough paycheck to live in the cities they have to live in to do their work or usually even a simple, “Thank you.” I was one of them once, and it’s the hardest work in the industry. Makes being a musician feel like a piece of cake even when I’m working 16 hour days or exhausted from traveling and promoting myself.
As a space geek, you’d probably think my heroes are astronauts. Don’t get me wrong, I admire them beyond measure, but the real heroes are the people who toil endlessly to get people, satellites, and robots off this planet. You may never know their names but you benefit from what they do every single day of your life. In the next few weeks many of them (those in the shuttle program, of course) will be out of work and they’ve known this was coming for months and years yet continued to put their best efforts in and show pride in what they do. Whether writing software, training astronauts, interpreting data into something usable, designing systems, building, or any of the million duties that are required for success, every single one of them is an imperative piece to the giant puzzle that is spaceflight.
Watching people I admire, even love in many cases, lose their dream jobs and do it with a smile and gratitude they even got to be a part of this for awhile has completely changed my perspective on heroes. Sure, there is bitterness as well, but the grace with which most are accepting their fates is something beyond admirable. Some of them will never be able to sell their houses and move where jobs are available. Some of them will lose everything they’ve worked for all these years, serving the American public in a concrete way politicians could never understand. I have never seen so many houses for sale that will probably not find a buyer as on the Space Coast. It’s easy to look at numbers and dismiss them, after all, what’s thousands of jobs lost in an economy that has lost millions of them? Getting to spend a lot of time in an area that likely won’t recover anytime soon, no matter what the national economy does, provides insight into how disjointed America can be. We are not just two nations occupying the same plot of land as some would say, we are thousands of micro-societies with unique problems and things to contribute to the whole.
When the shuttle lands tomorrow an era that has been an integral part of any greatness America can claim to have will be over. No matter how quickly we can get new programs going the end of this era will also signal an end to a community of the best and brightest we have produced as a nation. They span the nation, most obviously in Florida and Texas but also in hundreds of towns you would never think of as being enhanced by the shuttle program. Some will move into different areas of space work, others will have to move into fields they have never wanted to be part of because there just isn’t enough room for them in a scaled-down space industry. Their training as NASA or NASA contractor employees is incredibly valuable to many industries but many of those industries are ones that simply don’t contribute to our society in the ways that truly matter. I wish we could keep them working for the greater good instead of helping to line the pockets of the already-wealthy. Even worse, they will no longer be working as a team.
Do I think NASA should be a jobs program? No. Is there bloat and waste in the agency? Absolutely. However, the way to fix that is not to push out the very people who can take us to greater heights as a community, a nation, and even the global community of humans. As citizens of one of the few nations with the resources to embark upon these grand adventures in science and exploration we are responsible to be angry on the behalf of heroes.
But first, just find yourself a shuttle worker today and say a heartfelt, “Thank you.” A small gesture, to be sure, but one they could use a whole lot more of.
I’m thrilled to add this has been cross-posted at the Space Tweep Society blog at http://www.spacetweepsociety.org/2011/07/20/heroes/
Clutter June 15, 2011
Posted by craftlass in domesticity, vacation.7 comments
For the past 2 years I have been awfully busy. Even when not traveling I’ve been working constantly, whether on building my career, working on outreach projects, making new connections with people, or just planning my next travels.
I also should confess that I am a slob by nature, always have been. No matter how much I try to fight back and change that flaw, I fail. I’m like a human tornado, it takes me only a few minutes to have everything in disarray. I don’t even know how I do it!
About 2 weeks ago I sort of lost it. I looked around my two homes, the external one called my apartment and the internal one known as my brain, and I couldn’t see past any of the clutter in either. I was so out of space in the first that I couldn’t even unpack my stuff from my last trip, there simply was nowhere to put it. Even worse, my mind was so cluttered I couldn’t write, properly rehearse my music, or even just function socially. This was compounded by a bout of severe back pain that required the sorts of painkillers that turn one into a zombie clone of herself, which made me spend most of my time staring about my messy place and cringing.
Before I became a musician I had been looking for a new career and threw myself into domesticity while job hunting. This is the hardest of all possible work for me, I don’t have a domestic bone in my body outside of being a pretty good baker and cook. It was awful but at least I had a nice place for my boyfriend and I to live, so it was worth it. I longed for the simplicity of those days, when I could actually get a healthy and tasty meal on the table because, well, our table wasn’t stacked with mail crying for attention and precious space memorabilia needing a permanent home.
I’ve read many times that the thing to do when feeling internally cluttered is to focus on the clutter you can actually do something about. So, I embarked on very late spring cleaning. Shutting off all my social networking temporarily, I’ve been throwing myself into not just cleaning but the sort that involves moving furniture, throwing even some beloved things out, and scrubbing until my arms feel like they are going to fall off every evening. The only breaks I’ve taken are to practice my music and dancing, which I’ve been able to find laser-like focus for without the distractions that had been plaguing me.
Honestly, as much as I hate the work, it’s been like a vacation for my mind. As I’ve been cleaning I’ve been catching up on TV shows I missed, listening to an audiobook a day, and just letting go of my own thoughts and absorbing things I love but haven’t had time for. The best part? Pulling out my inner housewife may be painful but just looking at the projects already accomplished has given me a sense of satisfaction that is hard to find in my work. Yes, my writing is far more important in the long-term, but everything moves slowly there, from writing to playing a song live repeatedly, honing away, let alone getting to the point of recording and release. It’s hard to see the progress there or whether I’m reaching anyone with it without objectivity, but I can be objective about cleaning. I can look at something like, say, the baker’s rack in my kitchen that holds my favorite small appliances and lots of cooking gear, and realize everything on it is clean and usable and even the floor beneath it could be eaten off of safely, and know that the job was well done and that I did it.
I promise, I’ll be back to my usual hijinks, this is far from a permanent state. I’m heading to the Become a Pilot Day Tweetup in DC this weekend at the National Air and Space Museum’s Udvar-Hazy Center that I’m astoundingly excited for, especially as it is packed with friends my exhausted arms are aching to hug. I do think, though, that I wouldn’t be ready for it if I hadn’t taken this time for myself, nor would I be able to pack for this trip without being able to unpack from the last!
My motto has always been, “You can’t help anyone else if you aren’t taking care of yourself.” It may sound selfish, but a little selfishness is required to maintain the strength to do what you have to do. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, repeatedly, and I try to live by it. So, while it may have been rude to just disappear from the world for a bit, I’m almost ready to get back to the normal state of my life. After all, if you’re drowning yourself you can’t save the person next to you, and I was drowning. At least now I can see the boat to climb up on…
Once In a Lifetime May 23, 2011
Posted by craftlass in Atlantis, NASA, NASAtweetup, space, Twitter.1 comment so far
I’m angry. I will likely make quite a few of my readers angry with this piece, too, for varying reasons. However, I have sat by and let myself get to this state without speaking out for some time now and, you know what? Silence doesn’t do anyone good, no matter how comfortable it can be.
There have been four NASA Tweetups for launches so far and the great news is that there will be one for STS-135, the final launch of the space shuttle. The very fact that even one happened is a testament to the hard work and cleverness of a small team of forward-looking individuals who overcame great obstacles to make it work. Let’s face it, no matter how much one may be a fan of NASA, it’s a large (some would say bloated) government agency that is quite conservative and likes to stick with traditions whenever possible. Convincing such a beast to be open to new methods of reaching people is a difficult task at best and watching it happen has been a lesson on effectively changing something from the inside. It’s been a phenomenal success in many ways, but we must remember just how hard certain people inside are fighting for this and respect the barriers they contend with to give us the unprecedented access we have been enjoying for the past few years (from tweeting news, sharing videos and pictures quickly, answering our questions, to, yes, tweetups).
There has been a lot of talk lately on Twitter about two things related to launch tweetups: 1) Getting people who have been to one back to the press site for this final launch; and 2) Breaking the rules for underage tweeps.
As for part 1, well, I’m a little embarrassed to even feel a need to bring this up, but geez, people, you’ve had your chance! Some of you have even had two chances! I’m thrilled that it seems like the organizers are trying to prevent any duplicates and we should make it easier on them, not harder. Look, I’d love to get back there myself, it is weird to go back to regular civilian status after the perks of a tweetup. Yet I had my chance and it’s time for new people to get their own. I have friends who have applied for every single launch tweetup and still haven’t made it into one, including some of the biggest launch chasers and cheerleaders of the bunch. I would do anything I could to get them in, except there is nothing outside of not registering myself, whether I’d be allowed in or not. Keeping my name completely out of the hat shows both respect for potential tweetuppers and the people who have to deal with the thousands of registrations they receive at this point.
Want a reunion for your tweetup? Well, then, plan one! There has already been one for STS-133, at the Udvar-Hazy annex of the National Air and Space Museum. I could not make it down but I heard it was a great success and we have talked about making these fairly regular things. Note the location: Not at press site or even a NASA facility. It was planned by some of the tweetuppers, not by the overworked NASA staffers who brought us together in the first place (but did get invited as guests, by the way, at least one attended that I know of). They have enough to do making new official tweetups happen! A tweetup can happen anywhere, anytime, it doesn’t need to be official or create problems for the very people we should appreciate most.
Want to attend another launch? Well, that’s pretty easy if you have the time and money. There are plenty of places to watch from and if you truly care about seeing it you shouldn’t care where you are. Enter the public ticket lottery, watch from off-site, whatever. Harassing anyone you might know at NASA is not the best way to go about this. Even long-time employees are struggling to get tickets for themselves for the final launch since there is overwhelming demand. I can’t thank the people who have helped me get to a launch enough and giving them any form of grief is about the worst way to show gratitude there could be.
None of us deserve special treatment.
Which brings me to part 2, the underage rule. I have a few friends who I want to get to a tweetup more than almost anyone, but they happen to be minors. My heart breaks for them, it’s not their fault they were born too late to be eligible during the shuttle program and it’s harsh that the rules forbid it. It’s not just the rules of tweetup, it’s the rules of the press site. I know a teen who is working press and can’t do his job due to this rule, even. Yes, harsh. This may sound strange coming from a woman who constantly says, “You need to learn the rules so you can more effectively break them,” but there are some that are simply unbreakable and must be accepted at face value. There are problems of liability, a no-guest policy (preventing parents or guardians from accompanying minors), and even transportation. I’m sure there are even more reasons behind it, but the fact remains: The people who are being badgered about making exceptions have absolutely no ability to make them. Being hounded about something you wish you could help with but absolutely can’t is somewhere well below the root canal level of fun.
I realize a lot of the tweets on both subjects have been written in a joking manner, but you know? Sometimes even jokes can hurt. When you work day after day to give people one of the finest presents money can’t buy and find yourself being asked for more it can easily get overwhelming and demoralizing. Think before you tweet. Think even harder before you mention someone to make sure they will see that tweet. I will admit, I got caught up in a discussion about getting an underage tweep a great viewing spot myself, and big conversations with lots of people can make you fall into these traps easily. I’ve learned to be more careful the hard way in general, about discussing certain things publicly and mentioning people who probably shouldn’t be included simply because I didn’t think to erase their ID from the tweets. It happens, but we do have the power to both prevent making the same mistakes repeatedly and apologize for them in the first place.
Due to my presence at several launches now I personally get asked a lot about access and even if I can help others get onto KSC grounds. I can’t. I have attended at the pleasure of very kind people and have been surprised by the invitations every time. I will happily explain how to register for the ticket or tweetup lotteries or find a good off-site spot but have no idea how to get anything else. My best advice is consistently to simply not be a snob. If you demand that you must be on-site, especially if the reason is that you were spoiled by being in a tweetup, well, why would anyone want to do you a favor? For 2 out of my 3 launches I had a plane ticket down long before I had any idea where I might wind up. As of now I plan to watch STS-135 from off-site with friends unless I manage to win in the ticket lottery. I don’t expect invitations, special favors, or anything from anyone. I do expect to enjoy every moment I’m down there, wherever I may be and whichever friends I might be with.
After all, isn’t viewing some of the great moments of the entire existence of humans powerful from any vantage point? Simply being within a few dozen miles of the launch pad will automatically make you one of the luckiest people on this planet!
Just to be clear: This isn’t directed at anyone in particular and doesn’t represent anyone’s views but my own, just some (not-so-objective) thoughts from objective observation. I wish the best of luck to everyone trying to get down there and look forward to celebrating the end of an era we love with fun and support and marvelous stories to share forever!
Go Atlantis!
How to Love a Space Geek – A Guide for Family and Friends May 19, 2011
Posted by craftlass in life lessons, marriage, NASA, space, travel.22 comments
I’ve written before about the challenges of being addicted to rocket launches but the people who have it worse, far worse, are those who love us. It’s not just shuttle addicts this applies to, either. For example, astronomers (amateur or pro) come with a lot of baggage, including the need to stay up all night or close to it, planning around events like meteor showers, and either spending insane amounts of money on gear or making far less than they should if professional. However, since the last shuttle launch is rapidly approaching, I am going to focus on the non-space-worker launch freaks here or else I could wind up writing a whole book.
The first thing you need to understand is that seeing a launch, to us, is not just a cool thing to do. It’s a compulsion and, frankly, one of the healthiest ones around. A launch gives us a high greater than any drug and it lasts forever. I repeat, forever! This does not mean that one is enough, however. Oh, no, not at all. Each launch is unique, from the countdown events to the way it rises to the sound to the trail it leaves in the sky. I’ve only seen three and could espouse endlessly on the characteristics of each. The first one changed the way I look at the world entirely and the successive ones have reinforced that and brought me closer to being who I aim to be. I have seen the power of the human brain and great teamwork and my faith in humanity has been restored. This makes me a better person on every level.
This was created by the trail of STS-131, a unique formation lit up from beneath by the rising sun just after the launch.
The second thing is that a launch is more important than almost anything else could be. Each launch happens exactly once and it’s on its own schedule that individuals can not control. Birthdays come every year on a fixed schedule, as do anniversaries, and they really don’t have to be celebrated on the date itself. Things that might be extremely important to you do matter to us, but we have to balance their significance against a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, which each launch is, no matter how many we may see. This is especially true now, with all the lasts for the shuttle program happening. Let’s put it this way: I would miss my own wedding for a launch if I was getting married. Seriously. It has nothing to do with how much I care about my significant other, it’s just that it’s possible to move even the fanciest wedding and not at all possible for me to change a launch date. I missed STS-132 for a friend’s graduation party and I will regret it until the day I die, even though I love this friend with all my heart and have a no-regrets policy in general.
Third, going to a launch is expensive and we don’t care. As long as we’re not on the verge of losing our homes or internet connection, no debt is too great. We look for ways to make it more affordable, like sharing houses or driving with people, even if they are total strangers. However, some expenses just can’t be avoided, like changing plane tickets or losing deposits due to a date change. I didn’t eat an actual meal for an entire day at this past launch and I didn’t care at all, the launch fed me more than food possibly could. Great things require sacrifice at times and there are few sacrifices too great.
Me with the trail of STS-134 from the privileged vantage point of Turn Basin. Notice the extreme joy on my face, which barely represents how I felt in that moment.
Fourth, launch dates are flexible and we need to roll with the changes, not just financially. STS-134 got pushed back about by two weeks and, for me, it made more sense to stay for the duration than to fly home and back. Adding to the confusion, it took days after the scrub of the first attempt to find out what the new date would be, so many people stuck around until it was clear the delay would be more than a week. Choosing to stay longer is not an indicator that we don’t care about you or that we’re behaving badly while away, it’s just the way things have to be. After all, once we’ve gone to so much trouble to attend the greatest shame is to miss the actual event just because someone wanted us to come home.
Fifth, we are a community. The friends I have made through interest in space and attending launches are my family just as surely as anyone actually related to me. We support each other when life gets difficult and celebrate together when good things happen. This does not diminish our love for anyone else, but we have an understanding that is deep and eternal and shared only with those like us. We’re of all races, religions (or lack of such), national origins, economic backgrounds, educational backgrounds, and vocations, yet we have a common bond that makes none of that matter except as something more to talk about. Oh, how we talk! Endlessly and enthusiastically, over beer and food and the smell of rocket fuel. We teach each other, learn from each other, grow together, and are always better for it. It’s like attending years of college in just a few days, the bonds are that powerful and the learning is that broad if you want it to be. What could be better?
Members of my first household for the STS-133 NASA Tweetup (the Big House) pose with the famous countdown clock at the KSC press site. Mostly strangers a couple of days before this was taken, now people I would do almost anything for.
To put all of this another way, do you really want to be resented for the rest of your life/relationship/friendship because you got in between someone you love and their passion? Is it worth a few extra days together or a few dollars?
I’m lucky, I have the most wonderful partner in the world, who lives by these values, even to the point where he supported me basically missing his birthday two years in a row for space events that weren’t even launches but deeply mattered to me. By the same token, if he had to miss mine for a chance to dive the Great Barrier Reef or live out another dream of his I would give him my blessing in a heartbeat, even if it hurt on some level. That’s what partnership is, encouraging the person or people you love to take life by the horns and explore everything they feel a need to any chance they get even if it’s inconvenient or painful.
I’ve watched a friend argue terribly with his wife over staying in town a bit longer during a launch, another miss a launch due to a family birthday (and he will now never see one), and even had one who spent a lot of money to get tickets for him and his son (it would have been the son’s first launch and a wonderful educational opportunity) only to have his wife put down her foot and prevent them from going. This breaks my heart and are hardly the only examples of similar issues. Once these chances are gone, they are gone forever. Sondheim got it right when he had Cinderella state, “Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor.”
So, if you truly value your relationship with a space geek, don’t stand in the way or give a guilt-trip. Clear the path or even join the fray and who knows? Maybe you’ll find that it will affect you in a positive way, too, even if you couldn’t care less about space yourself.
The Quaking Quiet May 16, 2011
Posted by craftlass in Endeavour, NASA, space, SpaceTweeps.add a comment
A quiet night. Anticipation and excitement crackle beneath the quiet, though. Everyone’s sleep schedule is different and for many, not working out so well. Sleeping the night before a launch is always difficult but when you have to be up in the middle of the night for a morning launch there is no one way to prepare. Some people went to bed in the afternoon, like the astronauts did themselves. Some slept in today and are braving it out until after the launch. Some people are trying a combination of strategic naps that mostly seem to be getting interrupted by that deep thrill that becomes more encompassing as the countdown clock ticks away.
We’re going to see a launch!
Okay, most of the people I’m with are fairly seasoned veterans when it comes to delays and scrubs, including this being our second attempt to see this particular launch. Sure. Any other day we’ll realize that we took a risk in coming, that tomorrow morning might bring the disappointment of no launch at all. We all know that deep in our minds right now. Every other part of you, however, is completely in denial. You believe, deep down, that in a few hours you are going to see the greatest show on earth in this day. Doubts flee and excitement takes over.
Endeavour is scheduled to launch at 8:56 AM EDT. This makes for some early call times. The friend I’m staying with, who is working the launch, had to be there by 10:00 PM. Others get in at 2:30 AM, 3:00 AM, and so on. Friends in the press will go in about as early as they can. I’m not sure how early the NASA Tweetup tweeps are supposed to arrive this time but if they are anything like my STS-133 group they will start arriving as early as they are allowed. My group, the Ninja Crew, is heading in around 4:30-5:00 AM.
This makes for complicated planning for all. The weird side-effect of sleep issues is that tonight has been particularly mellow. Instead of the usual pre-launch partying everyone is just trying to take care of themselves and make sure they are wide-awake in plenty of time for their own timeframe.
Add in the fact that there are far fewer people around, at least amongst the people I know, and it gets even stranger. The two-week delay made it impossible for many to return, to the point where people were still managing to make local hotel reservations right up until the last minute. The weekend made for a rolling wave of arrivals rather than a big rush like the last few attempts and Discovery’s last launch, too.
It’s kind of nice. Different from what I’ve grown used to, but nice in its own way. I may not have seen that many people thus far but that means the groups who have gathered have gotten a more intimate chance to hang out than usual. My household is made up of people who are becoming more and more like old friends, we’ve spent so much time together at launches, Yuri’s Night parties, SpaceUps, and such as well as chatting online in the past couple of years. Last night we spent 5 hours in the hot tub, having some drinks and talking about everything and anything. Talk about a great way to get to know people even better!
As I type my housemate Rick is next to me on his laptop, updating his fabulous Mission Clock (iOS) app and watching Spacevidcast. Others are resting in their rooms. Even though we’re relaxing at a private home it’s nothing like following the launch from home. Everyone around you is full of that same anticipation and a much deeper desire to have all go as planned than I had ever imagined before I came down here for my first launch. Makes you feel like you are truly part of something special, which you are, even if just a spectator.
After all, this is the very last time Endeavour will ever launch, the last time a single crew larger than 4 will separate themselves from the planet for quite some time, the last time that isn’t the very last time. To be here is to be very, very lucky. It may be very, very crazy since we all made some pretty huge sacrifices to be here, but not one of us will say it wasn’t worth it, especially if this bird actually flies.
In a few hours my borrowed car will be packed with chairs, blankets, coolers, and excited space geeks. I plan to savor this quaking quiet as long as it lasts. After all, a few hours later things will be anything but quiet!
Go Endeavour!
If you want to follow along my group’s launch activities watch the #ninjacrew hashtag and list on Twitter.
10 Lessons I Learned by Having the Time of my Life May 12, 2011
Posted by craftlass in dance, education, life lessons.1 comment so far
There’s a lot of talk these days about, “How NASA Tweetup changed my life,” and I have a lot of ways I could talk about, but perhaps the oddest is that it unintentionally introduced me to ballroom and Latin dancing. See, I’ve been taking advantage of my trips to Florida to spend time with my parents who live on the west coast of the state between various events and my second trip to see STS-133 launch gave me a chance to visit quite a lot. My stepmother has been dancing for awhile now but started taking it really seriously over the past year or so. She’s studying at a competitive dancesport school run by a world champion dancer, not just some cheesy chain joint but one that can take you however far you want to go. Every Thursday night they have a guest party and she invited me to join her. Thinking this would be a good way for us to bond more I figured I’d go, check out what she’s been doing, and enjoy it however much I could. Well, it turns out I could enjoy it a lot! It’s one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done yet it just seems to come naturally, like I’d been waiting all my life to find it.
Apparently I am the only person surprised by this. Oh, well. Guess I don’t know myself quite as much as I’d thought…
When I started taking lessons I thought I was just learning how to do a style of dance I hadn’t done before. After all, that’s what they’re for, right? However, being a struggling musician, just that wouldn’t justify the expense, so a major reason I continue is the larger value. Here are a few lessons that apply well beyond the dance floor that I’ve gotten out of my first 10 sessions:
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You have to put faith in someone else if you are going to get anywhere.
I’m a bit of a control freak and I like to lead, to the point where it is detrimental and borders on sheer stubbornness if I’m not careful. I suspect I was either born that way or learned it early from my very Type-A mother. Regardless, while it is good to have some inherent leadership qualities you will drive yourself mad if you try to do everything yourself or micromanage. Even worse, this can lead to complete burnout. As a woman, in dancing with a partner I must give up that control impulse and not only follow a leader but believe in him 100%. For example, when dancing in a crowded room, especially in a progressive (as in moving around the room) dance like the waltz, I’m generally moving backwards so it’s up to my partner to steer me out of trouble. If I don’t trust him to do that I will look behind me and that is just plain wrong and very ugly. That’s just the most basic part, of course. I have to let him give me the cues or we won’t do anything complimentary. The best way for me to stumble or even fall is to lose that faith rather than throwing myself into the movement completely. Nor can I be fighting my instincts at every turn, my instincts must adapt to this faith or the dance will never be elegant as the struggle comes out quite visibly. The same is true in romantic relationships, where trust matters far more than even love if you are to be happy together in the long term, and in a working team, where people usually perform better if left to do the jobs they are supposed to do without feeling like someone is staring over their shoulder at all times. Mistakes will happen, of course, none of us are perfect, but
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You have to have faith in yourself.
Seems obvious, right? After all, if you have no faith in yourself you will just stand still, scared of everything. It goes deeper, though. My instructor says my biggest challenge is my own brain, which likes to overanalyze everything. This can be helpful when first learning something new but becomes a detriment rapidly. Sure, I might get the steps right, but dance is not simply a series of steps, it’s the entire presentation and it ideally looks and feels very natural and easy. You have to let go and trust your training to pull you through. Deep down, you know what to do. Just do it! Life, like an uncertain leader, often throws confusing cues and no one can decide which way to move is right but yourself. You might make a decision that seems wrong in hindsight but as long as it was yours alone and you threw yourself into it completely you will get something out of it and maybe even manage to make it look intentional and elegant.
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Communication is everything.
Communication is often confused with speaking and listening. Sure, these are forms of it, but they are far from the only ones. In dance, the main form of communication is in the hold. With the tiniest (imperceptible to onlookers) movements the leader can make sweeping changes in what you are both doing. When you first start learning that hold needs to be consistently firm or signals risk being missed but over time, the more you dance with the same person, it can soften without being any less effective and you can even split apart for a turn or similar move without losing your mental connection and come right back together. Communication becomes instinctual, almost like mind-reading, and that is a beautiful thing. Have you ever seen how long-term couples do tasks in perfect tandem without a word or heard them finish each other’s sentences? That’s the same effect. A new couple needs to talk everything out and that is often a far lesser form of communication. Working with collaborators is similar, the first project may require a million emails or meetings to get just right but over time you find yourself knowing what your partner(s) will think before you even share your part with them and you automatically correct for that. The partnership becomes more efficient and the results get finer.
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Get out of your comfort zone.
Some dances just feel right from the very first moment. Some dances feel awkward at first. That doesn’t mean one is better than the other or that you should avoid the ones that don’t instantly appeal. Sometimes you have to learn or even just watch others do more advanced steps and really listen to the music to fall in love with what you once were “meh” about. In my case, this is the foxtrot. In my introductory lessons I simply wasn’t inspired by it and found it awkward. My instructor and I talked about the music it’s appropriate for and I realized that includes a lot of music I absolutely adore, but was still a bit apathetic. When I went home to NJ and decided to watch a lot of ballroom competitions on YouTube I saw what it becomes when you know how to do it and found a passion that surprised me. I still haven’t gotten back to learning it, as I’d already chosen other dances to focus on for the time being, but I’m looking forward to throwing myself into it when the time is right. It’s graceful and elegant and reminds me of an era that I really would have liked to experience. In a similar but different vein, Latin dances seriously intimidated me at first. I spent years studying ballet as a kid and Latin dancing is the antithesis of that, with hip swinging and straight-up sexiness I just couldn’t imagine pulling off. I instantly loved doing them but was still worried it just wasn’t something I could be any good at. With hard work, exercises to loosen up the muscles needed, and a whole lot of just listening to the music as I go a about my life to internalize the rhythms, it’s starting to feel natural and makes me feel like a whole new person! There are few greater highs that succeeding at something you never expected to even be competent in. What do you want to do but haven’t tried for fear of failure? We all have something that fits into that category and you never know, it might turn out to be your greatest talent if you just give it a shot. There is nothing to lose by trying, nothing.
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Relax into the rhythm.
When you start a new dance or jump up a level your brain is filled with steps, counts, body positions, and lots of terminology, leaving little room for listening to the music. This is dangerous. After all, dancing is, first and foremost, a physical expression of music. Even though I am a musician myself and have a deeper understanding of it than the average beginning dancer I fall into this trap very easily. To compound matters, I am extremely hyper and I get so into dancing that I get ahead of the beat pretty easily if I’m letting my mind do the talking. You have to relax and let the music take over every part of you (which is also part of the giving-up-control lesson), even if the dance is one that is far from relaxing. Life itself has a rhythm, too, and it’s very easy to try and fight it in order to get ahead, but that’s always counter-productive. You have to listen to what everything from the universe to your own body is telling you, get in touch with your inner soundtrack and move with the flow. V.C. Andrews wrote, “A branch that does not bend with the wind breaks,” a poignant thought from a fairly schlocky writer (that might be a paraphrase, it’s been about two decades since I read that line, but the point is correct).
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Your greatest competitor is you.
Okay, I’ll admit, this is a lesson I first learned from riding dressage, where the judges give you a scorecard that includes a percentage of how well you accomplish each move, allowing you to focus on improving those scores more than on winning ribbons. It’s been a long time since I’ve ridden a horse, though, and it was well beyond time to re-learn this important lesson. If you look to how others are at everything you will always feel inadequate. For example, Janis Joplin was a very talented painter before she became a singer and the story of why she didn’t stick with it is a cautionary tale: She looked at how good other people were at painting and decided she could never measure up. While I’m selfishly pleased she went with the singing route I’ve always found this depressing, especially after seeing some of her artwork in-person. For me, singing is what I can never measure up to many others in, which held me back for many years. Some people love my voice, though, so the wise thing to do is work hard to make myself the best I can possibly be rather than compare myself to those more talented than I. Still, I sometime lapse and fall into that old trap again. I’m highly competitive by nature and want to be the best at everything I do. Starting something as physical as dance at age 34 is a challenge and I may never get to the point where I’d like to simply because I started now, but that’s okay. I can’t look to the dancers who started in elementary school and compare myself to them or I will never be at all satisfied with my progress. Nor can I look to people of any age who have the ability to take more lessons than I ever could without major life changes. All I can do is my own best and strive to improve every single day. From what feedback I’ve gotten so far I’m improving pretty rapidly and the work I’m doing outside the studio, like exercises to improve my strength and flexibility, are paying off in ways that knowledgeable people are noticing and commenting on. By focusing on competing with myself I am winning the only battle that matters.
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Fitness is not about looks, better looks are only a bonus, and getting fit only sticks if you enjoy what you do to get there.
I’m naturally what many people not-so-kindly refer to as a “skinny bitch.” I don’t share the battle with weight that many do, my naturally hyper state, awareness of getting full from eating, and general lifestyle take care of that. However, as is so easy to do when your life is largely spent sitting in front of a computer, I have slacked and gotten terribly out of shape. This is detrimental to everything I do, especially my top priority, singing. Being fit has little to do with any numbers, whether inches around your waist, dress size, or those on a scale. Being fit is about the ability to physically do anything you want or need to without hurting yourself in the process. A big problem many of us share is that a lot of exercise types are or become boring and we look at it as a chore rather than a pleasure. How many of you have fallen into the cycle of beginning an exercise routine with enthusiasm only to find it fading into just another line on an overwhelming to-do list? Then come the excuses: I don’t have the time or energy, it cuts into the things I would rather or must be doing, or I just have a lack of motivation. One day of not bothering extends to two, then a week, and then a few months have gone by and your gear is collecting dust or your gym card is simply taking up space in your wallet. You feel guilty, but guilt is a terrible motivator as it comes from a negative place. I didn’t get into dancing to get in shape, I truly love doing it and refuse to let more than a day go by without at least practicing on my own because it feels good and brings joy to my life. One day I looked at myself naked in a full-length mirror (I don’t care what you look like, that is always a frightening thing to do since we all have flaws and zero right in on our own) and was shocked and gratified to see that my body had completely changed. Areas that I had never been able to get control of, like my side abs, have mutated into something I thought was out of reach. In the past I often started working out with that as the goal but this time it was different and I am seeing the best results of my life because my focus is far larger than body parts. More importantly, just going about daily life, like bounding up the steep stairs to my apartment or carrying piles of groceries home without a car, has become easier. I’m happier overall because my body and I have a better relationship than we have in years. I give it exercise in a fun way and it in turn listens to what I want it to do.
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Good posture matters.
I used to have great posture, thanks to my ballet lessons and riding. I’ve always placed importance on it but again, spending much of my life typing on a computer and wrapping my tiny body around a full-sized acoustic guitar has degraded it to the point where it has probably contributed to my back pain and certainly makes me look less attractive. I had never noticed that I lost it, though, until several instructors pointed it out to me. Highly embarrassed but grateful, I’ve become a bit of a posture nut again, not just while dancing. Posture is key to dance, of course, you must stretch up tall and proud into the required frames, and it’s especially critical when you’re all of 5’0″ and are dancing with even average-sized men. However, even if you’re very tall and embarrassed about your height you need good posture. It helps your whole body fall into a healthy position and commands attention when you enter a room. Want to seem more confident even when you’re not feeling it? Throw those shoulders back, lift your chest, raise your head up high and show yourself off. Not only does it change the impression you give to others but it can influence how you think about yourself. Such a simple tweak to improve your life in every way, huh?
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Hard work, patience, and persistence are the only things that pay off in the long run.
This seems so obvious but our culture is one of speed and hard work often takes a long time to get results. Just like get-rich-quick schemes rarely pay off, cutting corners might satisfy a short-term goal but it will fail you in the end. When I took my first lessons I bounded into mimicking what I’ve seen in movies and musicals. It’s far from surprising that a lot of it was just plain wrong. As my lessons get more advanced and we get more into the minutiae of what every little part of me must do to make the dance beautiful I may need to do a single part of a step millions of times to nail it but it’s all worth it. No amount of natural talent can replace dedication and attention to detail. Often you must tear what you are doing apart and build it back up to make it better. It’s important to have both short- and long-term goals that fit together, too. The short-term goals let you mark the progress towards your long-term ones and keep you from feeling discouraged. Learn the steps, internalize them, focus on details, internalize those, add the layers that make the cake of results both taste good and look beautiful. After all, what good is a gorgeous cake that tastes like sawdust? That’s the best you can get if you rush things.
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Constructive criticism is the highest of compliments.
Criticism sucks when you are getting it. It’s easy to take it as a personal attack and feel terribly hurt. However, the vast majority of criticism actually means that someone cares enough to pay attention to you and wants you to improve. Few people like to criticize anyone, especially to their faces, it’s uncomfortable no matter which end of it you are on. The important thing to look for is whether it is destructive or constructive before you let your emotions take over. Whether you are paying or asking someone to be critical or it’s offered unsolicited, if you can look at what is given objectively and know it to be true you will improve more because of it than you ever could without. Going back to posture, I was rather upset when I heard mine was lacking. Instead of letting myself wallow in the hurt, though, I force myself to repeat that criticism, look into a reflective surface, and shove my body into the right position as well as I could. Every day I get a little bit better, have to correct myself a little bit less, and it’s becoming something I don’t have to think about. This would never have happened if I wasn’t criticized openly and honestly or if I stubbornly negated the notion in a fit of ego. Humility is the only path to improvement, so the next time someone gives you advice that doesn’t feel so pleasant, just say, “Thank you,” and use it if it applies.
It will be a long road to become the dancer (or person) I want to be, but by embracing life’s surprises and throwing myself into everything I do my life has improved dramatically. Being a wallflower will only bring you greater disappointment so get out there and proudly dance the dance of life, whatever that might mean for you! Who knows what you might learn along the way…
How Could Something So Wonderful Be So Bittersweet? February 28, 2011
Posted by craftlass in Discovery, events, NASA, NASAtweetup, space, SpaceTweeps, travel, Twitter.add a comment
2/24/2011. Day 115 of the STS-133 NASATweetup. A most beautiful day in Florida, at the press site of Kennedy Space Center. Most of us had gathered the night before to watch the Rotating Service Structure retract on Pad 39A, revealing the naked shuttle beneath, a most glorious sight to see and something we were supposed to do in November but were unable to. One of several reasons I’m actually glad that Discovery didn’t launch on time, in retrospect. However, a few people couldn’t make it in on time for the retraction, so launch day (was it really going to be a launch day this time?) was the first time all of us who could return were together again and that alone was wonderful enough to fill my heart with sheer joy.
I was actually quite surprised at how many in our group were still completely unknown to me. We hadn’t met on Twitter, hadn’t met at the original tweetup, and I still haven’t met some of them.
Some of the tweetuppers appearing on Spacevidcast, most SpaceTweeps' favorite show for all things space.
On the other hand, there were piles of people who I’d met in November who had become friends, some extremely close and getting closer. It had the air of a family reunion only better because we were about to see one of the coolest things you can see in 2011!
This was to be my 2nd shuttle launch. STS-131 was my first and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, right before dawn so it had the beauty of a night launch with a nearly-unique quality of creating essentially two sunrises in rapid succession. Yes, that’s how bright the shuttle is when you’re only 3 miles away from the pad! Blinding, breathtaking, and utterly exhilarating even before the ground rumbles and the shockwaves hit you.
This time I was a little more prepared for how quickly it all happens and how gloriously intense it is. What I wasn’t prepared for was how different it would be to share the experience with people I love, not just one good friend and two new acquaintances.
Most of us arrived very, very early, almost as early as we were allowed in. Since we’d pretty much blown NASA’s budget for our tweetup last time (they had to keep our tent and everything all week instead of for two days) we were going to have no real facilities, just some bleachers and a charging station in the midst of the press site. None of us cared. We packed up coolers full of food and drinks, some brought along camp chairs, we shared sunblock and bug spray and whatever else we had. We even had some friends not in our tweetup hanging out, as they were officially press, which added to the general community feel. I have never before felt so surrounded by people I care about. I probably never will again.
Shannon Walker tells the tweetuppers about her time on the ISS.
The remarkable hero to us all, Stephanie Schierholz, had once again gone above and beyond, arranging for speakers just as good or even better than the ones we had last time. Astronaut Shannon Walker talked about her experience on the Soyuz and the International Space Station, which was still fresh to her as she only returned last Thanksgiving. NASA’s Chief Technologist, Bobby Braun, talked about plans for fresh innovation and the future of human spaceflight. We got another demonstration from the Robonaut 2 team, this time with his fresh new wheels. To top it all off with whipped cream and cherries we had former astronaut and current Associate Administrator for Education at NASA, Leland Melvin, who was there to talk about education, naturally, but also regaled us with stories from his days on the Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys as well as “secret” tales of life in space. None of them seemed to want to stop talking to us, our gang had tons of great questions and you could tell they enjoyed being so appreciated.
In between, we had a lot of fun just catching up, hugging a lot, getting way too much sun, waving to the astronauts in the Astrovan on their way to the pad, and just generally being silly and overexcited space geeks. When Melvin finally got pulled away we had a bit more time to finish setting up tripods, grab a snack, and figure out where we wanted to be for launch.
@jenni88, @natronics, & @SpaceKate show off the sign they made for waving to the astronauts in the Astrovan.
Last time I stayed at the first house formed, known as the Big House. I’ve gone on and on about what a family we became, both in prose here and in song, so I won’t bore you with that story again. This time there were some complications and I wound up in Lambda House, another wonderful mix of people I already adore and some I hadn’t met. Two very different experiences, both fantastic. However, missing my Big House tweeps led me to choosing to spend the launch with them. Andy Cochrane made sure I was front and center for the launch (after all, I’m the shortest of us all…) and I loaned him a tripod since I wasn’t taking pictures or video myself. That’s just what family does, right? (For a real treat, listen to Andy’s audio from the event, it will blow your mind, especially if you’ve never been that close to a launch!)
Most of the people around me had never seen a launch of any large rocket before and their energy was extra-infectious as the big countdown clock ticked it’s way towards 0. The surprising thing about the press site is that very little news was reaching our ears so when we finally heard that there was a computer glitch turning launch status to red we were so nervous! I pulled up NASA TV on my phone but as I was on 3G it was a bit delayed, but better than no information. Phylise Banner, our dear Mothership, grabbed her ham radio so we could listen. They added a highly unusual T-5 minute hold to try to fix the glitch. As we heard, “45 seconds left in the window… 30 seconds left in the window… 10 seconds left in the window…” my heart sank. Could we bear another disappointment?
2 seconds before the window closed we saw the trademark smoke start billowing around the launch pad and everything else was completely forgotten. People started whooping and hollering up a storm, growing in strength as the the tower was cleared and it all became very, very real. We were watching Discovery make her last voyage off of the planet and we were doing this together! That dear orbiter, oldest left in the fleet, first to return us to space after each shuttle disaster, deliverer of Hubble, and temporary home to two astronauts I’d met just over a week earlier was going… going… gone.
It really does happen far too fast and the time seems even shorter when you are there. Adrenaline floods your body, for many of us tears filled our eyes, and a sense of true awe is palpable. There is nothing else like it in the world. Nothing.
@charmcitygavin and @AVClubVids prepare for launch.
Add in these very special people, and the experience goes from the best thing ever to something utterly incomprehensible in the most marvelous of ways.
I watched until she was out of eyesight, then watched a bit longer with my binoculars. I wanted this to go on forever.
Alas, it could not be.
I turned around and hugged Andy, then Talullah Kidd, then a whole bunch of us just piled onto each other in a massive group hug. I found myself in the same state as I was on the day Discovery scrubbed in November, laughing and crying in a chaotic mess of emotions. That struck me as odd at first until I realized that the launch meant this was all over. No more emails from Stephanie. No more planning needed. No reason that this precise group would be together again. Nothing concrete to tie us to each other.
Months of IMs, DMs, and Skype calls ran through my mind. Would all of us continue this even if we had no event to plan?
I like to think we will but the realist in me worries a bit. After all, I’ve lost touch with family and old friends without even a hint of regret. Emotions ran very high between the two parts to our tweetup.
I’m planning to hit the road to see these people and play music for those who wish me to. I’m going to do my part to keep these connections alive. There are even a few people who probably don’t realize what a profound effect they had on me, and these are the folks I wonder about the most.
It’s now been 119 days since our tweetup started officially. I’ve said goodbye to so many people already, including some that I’m having real trouble with parting from. I’m still on the Space Coast and having a great time, even as our numbers dwindle and the approach of “real life” sets in.
Memories and education are the two things no one can take from us and this tweetup has given me both in spades. No matter how hard re-entry may be I am so much better prepared for whatever comes next and I have a small army of support to keep me on track.
Not bad for an event created by a government agency almost no one wants to support, huh?
Wake Up to SpaceUp January 25, 2011
Posted by craftlass in space, SpaceTweeps.3 comments
Ahhhh… it’s that time again! SpaceUp rears it’s lovely head and gets the space geeks all amped up. This time there are two happening the same weekend, February 12th-13th, the second take on the original one in San Diego and the inaugural one for Houston. I’ll be at the latter myself but know lots of cool people who will be at one or the other, making this one of the major weekends I could really use a clone.
What is SpaceUp? Well, I wrote a post about it before my first one, just my own interpretation of the explanations I’d heard for the people who were asking that question. Having been to one now I have a lot more to say, but my basic advice is: If you are interested in any aspect of space, from Old Space to New Space, from astronomy to planetary sciences, from propulsion to robotics, and far beyond, this is the place to be. It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand how it works, you will when the time comes. Nor does it matter if you have no expertise or if you have multiple PhDs, all ages are welcome, and you can wear what you want and even host a session or give a talk if you’re so inclined.
What could be more democratic?
It’s so rare in life to attend an event where everyone is on equal footing even though they represent all spectrums of the community. One of the most special moments at SpaceUp DC was when a 9 year-old boy got involved in a discussion on reaching out to his generation, actually having a child’s input was even more valuable than that from education experts because it didn’t come from a book or school, it was from his heart as well as his mind. His mother told us she knew little of space or science until her son got interested in them and she brought him to try and support his interest as well as she could but was learning a lot herself. To me, this pair symbolized everything SpaceUp is about: Community, open lines of communication, and keeping an open mind about who can have good ideas and what subject might suck you in.
One day in DC I wound up in a session about thermonuclear rockets. Now, I had heard the term before but couldn’t have even vaguely answered what they were if asked. Okay, I could break it down by the name, but it wouldn’t have been a serious answer! It turned out to be one of the best sessions I attended, I learned a lot and want to learn more on the topic. Our big conclusion that day was that they have a PR problem and need a new name, which makes a lot of sense, but requires getting some engineers, PR people, and wordsmiths into the same room, which is a rare combination indeed in almost any other circumstance.
Modern society is very disjointed. We like to divvy everyone up into little groups and then slice those groups up even smaller, building walls between each time. Companies keep the left-brainers away from the right-brainers who are kept away from the executives and the underlings. This is bad, very bad. The best ideas happen when people who seem to have little in common work together as a real team, even if there are serious disagreements along the way. Actually, especially if there are disagreements – those are needed to kill the inevitable bad ideas that crop up and spark a new direction of thinking. Compartmentalization is bad for everyone and everything, at least, in my opinion, and it’s time to break free of this modus operandi.
This is why SpaceUp is my favorite event. It’s living, breathing proof that people CAN communicate across all the artificial boundaries we put up and find ourselves subject to. Even better, the way a lot of that happens is through actual fun! We have fun debating serious topics, we have fun sharing stories and getting to know each other, and then there’s the actual Fun Time built into the schedule. I don’t know much about the plans for San Diego but I am absolutely thrilled to be able to say I will be providing entertainment a few times during the Houston event.
The peak of it all will be on Saturday evening when there will be a party with a great combo of information and entertainment to cap it all off. For more information check out the official SpaceUp Houston blog, in the meantime I’ll just share another chorus of, “I’m sharing a bill with an astronaut!” Yep, that’s right, folks… Clay Anderson, NASA astronaut and superstar twitternaut will be opening up the night with a presentation, I will be closing it with music. Pretty cool, eh? I’m honored that they asked me to play and am working hard to ensure it will be my best performance to date, including polishing up some very new songs to debut for this special audience.
Sorry about the shameless self-promotion here, as it’s not generally why I keep this blog, but I am genuinely excited to both attend and perform to the point where I want to shout about it from rooftops. It’s probably far safer and more effective that I do that here, virtually, rather than in my NJ town… Right? To top it all off, I’m hard at work on a new single to release at the event and a few new songs to debut as well, so I’m extra-hyped up!
I hope to see you there, follow your stories from SpaceUp San Diego, or at least that you’ll log in to the live feeds if you can’t travel to one (thanks to the fabulous efforts of the Spacevidcast crew).
[Update: This post has been crossed posted at SpaceUp Houston's website, thanks to the kind folks over there for thinking my humble post was worthy of inclusion!]
As I Descend Into the Depths of Musician Stupidity… January 18, 2011
Posted by craftlass in music.add a comment
I started recording again last week. Nothing huge, just a few singles to bridge the gap between my EP and my next big project, give me an outlet for some ideas I’ve had on a few favorite songs. Now that I’ve recorded a few times I’m noticing a pattern in myself that explains a mystery I’ve always noticed from the other side of the desk/console/etc.
Why are musicians so damn stupid?
Don’t take this the wrong way, almost unfailingly, musicians are highly intelligent creatures. It takes a big brain that works in a very special way to make music, especially if you compose it. Most musicians do compose to some extent, too, even if they never get a single writing credit, at least in rock and related genres, as each musician has their own spin on their part. If you have seen a lot of live music you probably have noticed this when a band member changes in an act you like and really know the music of. I’ve said it before and will repeat it until the mountains thunder it back to me: Music is a perfect blend of art and science and you have to have a working knowledge of both to create it well. This means that musicians (even ones who don’t realize this is what they are doing, since this can be quite instinctive) take some pretty advanced concepts and mix them up into something beautiful and warm.
I know, I know, I seem to be contradicting myself… Bear with me…
When I worked in the music business and did some audio engineering back in the day I was consistently shocked by the stupid things that would come out of musician’s mouths. I mean, here was this smart person I could have long talks with about all sorts of intellectual things, including the music we were about to work on, and then the studio or office door would close and BOOM, the stupid would close in. This bothered me (although it did explain a bit about how the music business got away with so much over the years!) and seemed inexplicable…
…until I started recording myself.
Now I’m the stupid one, and I feel it. I notice the drop the moment the mics are in place on the first day. It gets even worse, too, I’m just going about my life being stupid right now. The simple things seem harder, the complicated ones need to be put aside for the moment. It’s not actually stupidity, of course, it’s a matter of focus. All I can think about is the music. When all is silent in the room my brain is whirling through what we’ve done and making plans for what to do next. I’m having trouble typing this right now as a song is screaming in my head, trying to get me to stop writing for my blog and pay attention to it. I have little to add to any discussion, making schedules or plans is difficult at best and pointless at worst, and I make for a terrible friend right now. There’s just no room in my head for anything but these precious songs and what they need from me.
My songs are my children. They come to me unexpectedly, demand nourishment and constant care, have individual wants and needs, and eventually I hope they can stand on their own when they are let loose on the world at large. They even have “age groups” from the unformed embryos of ideas, to toddlers with their own personalities emerging, to going off to school by being performed for an audience, to the whiny adolescence of recording. Once recordings are released they are even like good children who leave home, we visit once in awhile but they are mostly doing their own thing. At that point, I am proud and pleased to hear from them, but my focus has to be on the younger children in my care.
So, if I disappear for a bit or say something that sounds incredibly unlike me, just remember where my head is right now. It will be back as soon as I hear that last final mix, or at least I hope so. I have a lot of work to do, and a lot of that work requires a functioning brain!
Peer Pressure Is Not a 4-Letter Word January 7, 2011
Posted by craftlass in Uncategorized.2 comments
Remember those lectures in elementary school and junior high about peer pressure? They always focused on how it would be used to coerce you into drugs, alcohol, sex… basically, everything else that they gave big lectures on. It’s true, sometimes peer pressure is used that way. I would like to put forth the notion, though, that the problem is more about the peers than the pressure.
Over the past year or so I’ve become part of several new groups of people (well, new to me, at least). In other words, lots and lots of new peers to pressure me.
Most of the people who visit here probably know me through my song “Bake Sale for NASA”. Did you know that the song was almost never heard? I had quit everything to do with music and was utterly joyous about it. I was about to launch a new business I was really excited for. I was happily domesticated and thought my life was just about perfect, even if a little boring and lonely to someone looking in. I still enjoyed playing guitar, though, and there is nothing I can do about stopping the torrent of songs that pop into my head, including that one, they drive me crazy until I get them out. Just for fun I started going to The People’s Open Mic in my town, thinking that was as far as I’d go with it, no ambitions for more.
One night I told my friend Stephen Bailey about this new song and it’s inspiration and he immediately laid on the pressure for me to play it, even though it wasn’t quite done and I didn’t have it memorized or anything. I finally relented and it got a great reception. In a completely naïve way I tweeted about it (after all, I have a sort of diarrhea of the tweet, I can’t help over-sharing there) while I was buzzing over the cheers. A few tweeps requested to see the lyrics so I posted them on my old blog and was shocked by the positive responses. Jen Scheer immediately asked me to post them on the Space Tweep Society site and I marveled as it got dozens, then hundreds, of views right away. The feedback was overwhelming and the pressure was on again – this time to record the song.
I released it over Thanksgiving vacation, expecting almost nothing. After sending out one tweet that it had already appeared on Amazon I was again shocked, this time at how many people were retweeting about it and even writing their own tweets directing people to the download page. The song was selling, despite almost no marketing and definitely no planning or preparation.
Suddenly, my world was upside-down. I was doing interviews, getting to travel to amazing places, see things few get to see, and interacting with all sorts of people I would never have imagined would give me the time of day. The opportunities that came my way were beyond my wildest dreams and they just keep coming!
Peer pressure caused all of this.
What made the difference? The peers. This time the peers happen to be smart, talented, and fantastic people who I believe genuinely want the best for me, as I do for them. I hope, dearly, that any pressure I’ve laid on them is of the same positive variety. I am no longer shy with my pressure on others, either, when I see talent in someone I want to push him or her to full potential.
There’s a lot to be said for self-confidence and the fact that you need to push yourself, but sometimes you need a little bit more. No one is confident all the time and sometimes we are too wrapped up in our daily lives to see ourselves objectively. I do believe in myself overall but I didn’t feel particularly talented or clever when I wrote “Bake Sale for NASA” and I’ve never liked my voice (like most singers, I’ve found, but not great for the confidence). It took a few new friends, ones who were around just long enough to have faith in me but not long enough to lie to make me feel good. They would have had nothing to lose if they told me it was awful but they said the opposite and I believed them. They’ve continued to support me and our friendships have developed into ones I treasure.
I have learned the hard way that many people can’t be trusted and want nothing more than to bring you down and trample your dreams. Those peers lay on the dangerous pressures, whether it’s to do things you shouldn’t or not do the things you should.
So, what’s the overall lesson here? You will find peer pressure in any group, so surround yourself with the right people and make it a very good thing!
*****
This was inspired by this fantastic post by Shannon Moore, which outlines some great examples of positive peer pressure that I’ve experienced as well, I probably could have written her post if I’d thought of it first. Thanks, Shannon, for the eloquent writing and plenty of inspiration beyond this piece.
